Christmas house rules - OK?

As a child, I can remember Christmas parties at my paternal grandparent's home that would end in a bust up.

The 5 children of Joshua and May Barrow (including my own father) would meet with their spouses and children (my cousins); the living room would be packed, a cloud of blue cigarette smoke hanging just below the ceiling, beer, whiskey and Babycham flowing over games of cribbage, while we cousins played upstairs with bottles of pop and packets of crisps.

Occasionally, the evening would end abruptly with one guest or another getting drunk (quite often my Mother - a committed binge-drinker) and telling another family member what they thought of them. Pent up emotions released by intoxication - oh dear.

Thankfully, there were more good parties than bad, but the older Barrows did need to try and set some house rules. Primarily about keeping one's opinions to oneself, or expressing them at other times and in other places - not their home.

That was the 1960's by the way - I wonder how much has changed?

Here are some literal house rules for Christmas. I doubt you will have them printed and handed out as your guests arrive - but maybe just keep them in mind?

Family flows from our hunter-gatherer roots. It’s about “the tribe”, and what has to happen for us to survive. prosper and procreate - continuity of our community.

Sometimes the hunters are away for long periods, sometimes the gatherers have to work late into the night, often we don't see enough of each other, but at the end of day, we all come together, sit around the fire and share stories.

A home is a place of sanctuary, safety and love. A place to rest from our labours and to be surrounded by the people and possessions that bring us the most joy and comfort. An environment in which we can drop the onion skins we present to the world, and be our real selves, even in the company of those with whom we co-habit. The cave in which we shelter from the bear and keep warm.

Christmas is a festival (religious or retail, depending on your view), born from those ancient roots, in which we celebrate our “survival” of another cycle of seasons and feast upon our successes.

A time for looking back (a reflection on the lessons learned in the year), for looking in the mirror (being honest about our own strengths and weaknesses), and looking forward in anticipation of the opportunities and challenges ahead.

True love is unconditional - it takes time to learn that, and we all make mistakes and suffer scars along the way, both loving and being loved.

A family at home over Christmas who truly love each other is the safest and most beautiful place in the world.

When we enter a home, we are duty bound to respect the safety and sanctuary of the owner’s environment, we leave our dramas at the door, unless we ask permission and/or are invited to bring them in.

This Christmas, let he/she who is without sin be the first to cast any stones.